The first habit mentioned by the author to become independent is “Be Proactive, which means taking actions to respond to the situations rather than just watching how things happen. The takeaway I find enlightening in this part is this: "The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it." It makes me realize that, we, learning from our mistakes, should take the initiative and work on what we can to improve the circumstances instead of complaining about things that are beyond our control and feeling powerless.
The second habit is “Begin With the End in Mind”. In essence, we need to envisage our final destination and ensure that every single effort we make should align with the ultimate goals we aspire to achieve so that we can get from where we are now to where we want to be in a more efficient manner. Setting a clear and strategic vision first and foremost, in my view, may not only assist us to stay on track with our objectives but also prevent us working aimlessly on whatever task at hand at the expense of wasting our time and energy while we are not getting anywhere or to a wrong place in a worst-case scenario. This striking message also reminds me of the famous quote of a well-known author, Alan Lakein, “Failing to plan is planning to fail**”.**
The third one is “Put First Things First”. It is true that we may at times feel inundated with tons of work, and exhausted with hectic schedules, not knowing which tasks should be accomplished first. A note-worthy advice given by the author in this regard is “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities”. I come to understand that we ought to be selective and execute on urgent and important matters without being distracted by not urgent and unimportant tasks.
The aforementioned habits, according to Covey, could help us achieve self-mastery. To become dependent from being independent, it does not necessarily mean we must disregard our social interactions with others. We should be cognizant of the fact that “No man is an Island”, which means no one, himself or herself alone, is self-sufficient and everyone has to rely on each other. Covey, thus, introduces another three habits we need to nurture to optimize efficiency and attain a greater level of achievement: to shift from independence to interdependence.
The fourth habit he discusses is “Think Win-Win”. A particular quote that caught my attention in this case is "In the long run, if it isn't a win for both of us, we both lose. That's why win-win is the only real alternative in interdependent realities." The underlying meaning we should take note of from this quote, in my opinion, is to establish long-lasting and amicable relationships, we should recalibrate our relationship paradigms: we’d better seek mutual benefits from all interactions instead of having winners on the one side and losers on the other. In other words, we ought to strive for a common welfare, which is in accordance with our goals and values, and in line with their interests.
The fifth habit is “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood” - meaning we must seek to deeply understand the people we are communicating with as well as their inner feelings and perspectives through empathic listening. This highlights that it is important to develop a sense of compassion and put ourselves in their shoes to build trust and grow together as an effective team. This very habit also reflects a typical situation in which most people have a tendency to listen to with the intent to reply rather than to understand what the other party really means. Therefore, so as to dodge unnecessary misunderstandings and foster successful relationships at all levels (personally or professionally), we should put empathic listening at the centre of our communications.
The sixth habit, Covey stressed we should live to achieve interdependent relationships, is “Synergize”. The bottom line he is trying to convey here is that appreciating the differences and building unity in diversity, we must reinforce positive teamwork and make a concerted effort. Since I believe different people hailing from diverse backgrounds bring different unique strengths, I realize that it would be smart of us to leverage those diverse capabilities and strive to yield far better results, which are less likely to be achieved individually. I also think there is no harm in collaborating with each other as an effective team as the proverb goes “Two heads are better than one”.
The seventh habit, which Covey considers important to attain both independence and interdependence, is “Sharpen the Saw’. The very quote I find worth-noting and enlightening in this part is “You must never become too busy to take time to sharpen the saw”. I have learnt that no matter how busy we are, we should set aside time to learn to improve our technical knowledge and polish up our skills related to our field of work or study if we aim to achieve a sustainable growth. It is undeniable that persistent efforts made without renewing our assets would be a bottleneck to our path to a productive and fulfilling lifestyle. It may also be detrimental to our physical and mental well-being, which could in turn lead us to pitfalls of lagging far behind the fast-developing world we are in despite our relentless endeavours. Thus, having understood that continuous learning is the backbone of making significant breakthroughs, we should act on this very valuable message to maximize our efficiency and productivity.
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Kyal Sin Phu
20 July 2020
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